Question mark on my forehead.
Sometimes I don’t understand preaching without practicing; It’s like unsubstantiated fluff, as if the word unsubstantiated don’t already indicate some sort of weak argument.
Telling me to be patient is one thing. Telling me to be patient and yet you exhibit some sort of impatience with me is another, and it’s called irony.
I hate assholes
So this bus driver just drove past me when I was waving my arm around trying to flag him. The bus was nearly empty. And then when saw me, he just stared and continued driving on. What the fuck. Why are you a bus driver if you wna select your passengers? Aren’t you suppose to pick up the passenger as long as the bus isn’t full and it’s not the end of your shift?
What an asshole.
It’s like I was in a magical winter wonderland, except that it’s supposedly spring.
Patience, patience. Persevere, persevere.
I’m damn annoyed with the parents. Holiday alone with them, I’m dreading it until my really alone time happens.
You always taught us to say one less sentence and yet you don’t practise what you preach. You always have to have the last say, the one sentence that will blow things out of proportion and activate my time bomb.
Then there’s the other one who is so freaking impatient. Yes it is rather sweet of you to be patient with your wife when it’s just out of characteristic but the man of the house is always so dramatic whenever things don’t go as he wants them to. Like, just calm the fuck down. The world isn’t gonna end. By the way, this is so out of context but your driving skills suck, contrary to your own belief.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckery fuck. I need so much more than patience on this trip.
It took me a semester (6mths) to finally realise this, but I miss writing and I wanna get back into the groove of it all.
Months of absence has made me less intellectual, in a sense that I feel as if I’m thinking less; less thought into what I say mostly and subsequently do. I feel really dumb not being able to articulate myself sometimes. It’s as if the idea of being an uneducated stereotypical Singaporea Ah Lian who is failing badly at being bilingual doesn’t scare me enough to take action. Well, actually it does if not why else am I typing these out?
Being tongue tied often enough in the recent months is having an effect on me. I’m afraid of being illiterate. I’m afraid of being unable to convey what I really mean. I’m afraid of hurting others for the wrong reasons such as my inability to think before I speak or just because I dont have better vocab to use. I’m afraid that this handicap-to-be is a financial burden - who wants to hire me?
Even if it’s just to rant, I need to manifest it into words. I need to do more, before all words are emptied from this brain of mine. But seriously, I dont even know how long I can carry on cos like always, I stop halfway, even if I dont want to.
It just happens. And I let it be.
Done by Maxwell Alves at El Cuervo Ink.
vivoroni: Evan McKie and Alicia Amatriain in Sabrina Matthews’ Soles.